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Two-day Seminar

I recently saw this amusing, tongue-in-cheek offer from Rafiki Kenya.

Two-day practical training seminar for Kenyan men – proposed programme
Note: Due to the complexity of the content, each seminar will accept a maximum of eight participants. The seminar will last for two days, and topics covered include:

Day one:

  • Toilet rolls – do they grow on the holders? Round table discussion.
  • Differences between a laundry basket and the floor. Practicing with different types of laundry baskets.
  • Dishes and cutlery – do they levitate/fly to the kitchen sink by themselves? Debate among a panel of experts.
  • Losing the remote control. Help line and support groups.
  • Learning how to find things. Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming – open forum.
  • Beauty does not equal booty. An introduction to common English spelling mistakes.
  • Sex: we can’t all be perfect, but we can at least avoid the worst moves of all times. An update from the Kenyan blogosphere.
  • How to do away with unrealistic expectations? Case study: coming home stinking of Tusker* and expecting your partner to cuddle and act all-loving.

Day two:

  • Empty milk cartons: do they belong in the fridge or in the bin? Group discussion and role play.
  • Are Kenyan women too choosy or are their standards realistic? Group reflection exercise.
  • HealthWatch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. PowerPoint presentation.
  • Real men ask for directions when lost. Real life testimonial from a man who did.
  • Is it genetically impossible to stay quiet as she tries to find parking in Nairobi’s CBD? Driving simulation.
  • Living with adults: Differences between your mother, your partner and your “she’s just a friend”. Online class and role play.
  • How to be the ideal shopping companion? Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques and info-session on the latest credit cards.
  • It is not uncool to show that you care: remembering important dates and calling when you’re going to be late. Bring your calendar, Blackberry or iPhone to class.
  • Taking control in a relationship. She may be a control freak, but really, she wants you to be THE MAN, so step up already.
  • Getting over it. Learning how to live with being wrong all the time.
  • How to put the toilet seat down. Practical demonstration.

Rafiki Kenya has asked me to comment on whether this applies to men throughout the world, but I am not qualified, so, comments please.

* Tusker – a very popular Kenyan-brand beer.

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